The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize