sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
