just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
