your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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