I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
