No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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