She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize