His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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