Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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