She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize