if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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