Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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