I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
