Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
