Pants 0. Shit 1.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
