I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
