he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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