Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
