She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
