My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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