Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
