so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
