just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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