im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
