guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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