The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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