Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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