clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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