I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
