Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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