with your own penis?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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