break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
