i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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