Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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