is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
