She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
