girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
