i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize