I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
