But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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