the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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