did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
