Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
