dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
