kristin has been a bad kristin
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
