Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hippo gnu deer
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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