Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
