they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
