Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
