I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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