no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
