She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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