it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
