ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
