I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
