so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
