Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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