Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
