he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
is wine microwaveable?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Randomize
