So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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