Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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