break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize