No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize