Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
