you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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