people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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