I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
