Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
